“I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons,

knocking on a door.  It opens.

I’ve been knocking from the inside!” ~Rumi

Peace is always possible.  It is an act of volition. It is the embodiment of conscious loving choice.  It is a path, a discipline of the heart that seeks to make the human body more than just a reactionary processing tool.  The importance of peace becomes a deeper perspective when one realizes that peace is the only way to walk through the doorway of adversity.

Each time we are faced with a challenging situation, annoyance, or injustice, we have the choice to become victims of circumstance or take the opportunity to open ourselves joyfully to  lessons.  What peace tells us is that it is always available to us; it is there for us as a nurturing source for our troubled minds and hearts.  Peace is a solution to conflict beyond the visceral chest-puffing, ego-driven rule of supremacy.  It does not fight to be right, it  never asks for credit or recognition. Instead it is an act of great strength in stillness.

“All your thoughts, all your actions, all your fears and disappointments, offer them to me, clear hearted; knowing them all as passing visions.” ~The Bhagavad Gita

If we are to nourish the hearts of others with unconditional love and inspiration, we must be committed to holding to our truths in the face of adversity surrender to what we are meant to learn.  We are conditioned to believe that we must have all the answers and that mistakes are a reflection of our incompetence.  We police one another when an inadvertent infraction has occurred.  Some seethe in disgust and anger over an interracial couple, same sex union, or weight of another person.  They see diversity and the realities of the new world of equality as problematic.

This is the epitome unrest. It begins with the smallest admonishment, and acts with mindless judgment.  Judgment is the creation of factions and we all are guilty of it.

“Blessed are the man and woman who have grown beyond their greed

and have put and end to their hatred

and no longer nourish illusions.

They delight in the way things are and keep their hearts open day and night.

They are like trees planted near flowing rivers, which bear fruit when they are ready.

Their leaves will not fall or wither. Everything they do will succeed. “ ~Psalm 131

How then, are we  able to truly establish roots in peace making, if we only know peace to be a perfunctory social pleasantry of political correctness?  How can we grow beyond the duality of the judging others and think that we are living a life of peace? Anything and anyone that separates us from the trueness of joy, loving others, and the sanctity of life as we know it is an affront to peace and needs the most love, compassion and understanding.  This is the only power that exists: lessons of life  understood through unconditional love and acceptance for all beings. In essence, change.

We must face our internal struggles head on, and commit to creating spiritual integrity.  

“Not revelation –‘tis- that waits, but our unfurnished eyes” ~Emily Dickinson

 Spiritual integrity is the root of the tree of peace.  If we are to be without the edifice of loyalty to a particular group of people, and see all living things as sacred, all acts of love to be beneficial to the whole of humanity, we must live in truthful peace.  Believing others are to be punished because they are different than you or because they are not as perfect as they should be reflects on the deficits in your own spirit.  Bring yourself back to center and be still.  Listen to yourself, observe your heart and mind, and you will find that you are repeating ideas, thoughts, and beliefs that you may not authentically subscribe to.  Someone else has infiltrated your belief system and it is causing disruption.

“My mind is not noisy with desires and my heart has satisfied its longing.

I do not care about religion or anything that is not you.

I have soothed and quieted my soul like a child at its mother’s breast. 

My soul is as peaceful as a child sleeping in its mother’s arms “~Psalm 131 

The act of release is the greatest growth stimulant for a peaceful life and spiritual relationship.  Releasing what you think you know and listening to what is available for you to learn is an act of humility and bravery that is not seen often as an act of strength.  Compassion is birthed when you are able to release others who have hurt you and you are able to share the  joys and sorrows of all whom you meet.

“This mountain of release is such that the ascent’s most painful at the start, below; the more you rise, the milder it will be.” ~Dante

Peace is always available.  Peace is now.  Let your heart be replenished, and your soul inspired to create peace in every way.

“The great sea has set me in motion, set me adrift, moving me like a weed in a river.  

The sky and the strong wind have moved the spirit inside me till I am carried away with trembling joy.” ~Uvavnuk

In order to make peace in our lives, our lives must contain meaning.  Meaning can be found through acts of peace.  In the cyclical beauty of life, it is intent that is the root of  manifesting, and it is manifesting that feeds our intent.

Intention, focus, and the ability to follow through with commitment and gratitude is a recipe for a peaceful life.  The first intentional act of peace you must make is with being honest with yourself.  Are you honest with what you believe is the key to your happiness and satisfaction in your life? Do you know what that is?  Have you asked yourself?

If you are being eaten alive by unspoken desires, repressed emotions, and are feigning joy while on autopilot, you have already committed a hostile act against yourself.  You have waged war within and your attachments to ideas, judgments, material possessions and relationships are the weapons.  How can this change?

After asking yourself the difficult questions, make small but significant changes to shift toward a more conscious and participatory relationship with inner peace.  Be consistent with gradual change and do not rush the process of becoming. This is the best time of your life.  The world is yours, and you have the right to create it the way you desire.  Find your truth and live it.  Truth becomes meaningful, meaning creates wholeness, wholeness creates peace.

The practice of creating inner peace is not about lighting incense, wearing round sunglasses, talking slow, wearing patchouli, smoking weed, and saying “peace maaaan” with two fingers in the air waving aimlessly in the wind.  Peace is HARD WORK.   If you want internal peace, it must be a committed spiritual practice of love for all things, all people, all walks of life; it is laden with forgiveness for those that seek to take it from us.  It is action when the reaction may mean our death.  It is an act of purity and courage that surpasses the lesser qualities of our ego.

We live in a world that does not utilize peace making as the go-to directive. So that means that if we want peace, it is imperative to do everything in our power to make a long lasting impact.  As you come to know inner peace, the world will seem less peaceful, and perhaps even disconcerting.  Do not let that sway your spirit. Let it inspire you to be the light for those that cannot see the path. Share your time, food, care and compassion with all whom you meet.  Help someone you see on the street struggling.  Perform peaceful acts of protest against oppression. Send peace-loving thoughts to the oppressors, stand your ground in relationships, set healthy boundaries, and perform your daily, menial tasks with joy.

We are alive.  Isn’t it so beautiful?  It is so precious. Think about that, and you will find peace in the miracle of life.  Spend time in nature while contemplating difficulties of your life and you will find healing for your body, mind, and spirit.

The misconception that the elusive “they” of society says is that we need so much to be healthy, happy and whole.  Is what “they” say really accurate?  Is your life concurrent with such?  Test the theory.

Get rid of stuff you do not need.  Free yourself from clutter in your home, car, cubicle, relationships and most importantly within.  Give your unused items to the needy. 

One of the most influential cluttering aspects is limiting belief.  We’ve all heard this one: “I am just one person, what can I do?”  First, stop victimizing yourself by saying I am only one person.  One person can change the Universe. We have plenty examples of this.  If you are uninterested, then be honest with yourself. Cultivating peace may not be for you, but as one person, you can create a global shift with just one smile.  We all know this and yet we lie to ourselves and perpetuate limiting beliefs as truth.  If your sources of trust and refuge such as religion, family, and friends are contributing to your limiting beliefs by causing you to condemn others, telling you that you are not worthy, taking your power, saying you killed god, or actively creates the dynamic of  punishment and reward, they are coming between you and your peace and are detrimental to your health.

Check your judgments at the door and redefine the presence of god in your life.  It may just be that peace is the answer (John Lennon suggested to imagine no religion, no hell below us or heaven above).

Live in the NOW. Give yourself permission to not worry about the future and lament over the past.  Don’t try to fix all your problems before you celebrate them.  Give yourself in acquiescence to this moment and live for it fool-hearty, whimsical, melancholy, or whatever your emotions wish to share with you.  Let your heart be your guide to light your way to living peace.

You really matter to the future of the world.  Thank you for all that you do.

What would happen if we all set the intention to be peaceful one hour out of our day? How would the world change?  Peacefulness is the practice of obliterating the mental illness of materialism and selfishness, hatred and bigotry, and yet those things are prevalent in our zeitgeist. Do we need the paradoxical entwinement of war in order to have peace?  What would happen if we viewed peace as an individualistic garden to be tended to through critically examining our own perceptions, pruning our minds with the attenuation of judgments, and the nourishing ourselves with commitment to its perpetuation?  We have the power within us to finally kick the habit of war-mongering in its subtle and obtuse aspects, and create a new paradigm of peace.  We start with the fundamentals with this week’s line up.

All we are saying is give peace a chance. ~John Lennon

Monday – Personal Development  

Activate Your Life: Acts of Peace = Life-Changing Results: What if you performed an intentional act of peace each day? How would it change you? How would you feel?  Do you believe it would matter? It is important to realize that no act of peace is too small. Thoughts toward a peaceful home, family, community, nation, and world are  potential sparks in igniting a global shift.  It just takes one.  Consider this article as your starter kit.

Tuesday – Spiritual Nourishment

 The Universe Internal: Establishing Roots in the Tree of Peace:  In order for peace to be possible, one must cultivate peace beyond the perfunctory platitudes and symbols. Living peace is a deep spiritual practice that requires humility, patience, courage and strength.  If we are to nourish the hearts of others with unconditional love and inspiration, we must be committed to holding to our truths in the face of adversity and become.  The planting of the seeds of peace in our hearts welcomes the challenge of growth in the spiritual practice.  Learn how peace can be your greatest strength in fighting the most difficult war.

Wednesday – Relationship Advice

Relationship Asylum: As Above, So Below; As Within, So Without:  The idea and practice of creating and perpetuating peace is exemplified through what we believe is going on in the unknown world.  If a god above us (“heavens”) so dictates, we carry out the biddings war, peace, love or even hate below (Earth).  Our relationship with the world is reflective of what we believe is the desires of god (within).  Is your religion coming between you and a peaceful life? Is it possible to attain peace in an individual relationship with a higher power without dogmatism? How do we attain true peace within for it to manifest (without)?  We inquiringly examine this formula.

Thursday – Personal Perspective

Soul Restoration with Dr. Anjana: I excitedly share my personal connection with Peace, my greatest lessons learned, and how the application has brought healing to my life.

The sizzle of life was in our kitchen.  Tugging on my mother’s skirt I made a point to learn how to put hard work on the farm to good use with our cast iron skillets, pots, and pans.  In a whirlwind of intuitive measuring and heart-filled connection, we made the meals deliciously unforgettable and drew the family to the nucleus of life.  Food was powerful.  Food was healing.  Food was the ambassador of peace at our house.  No one fought at the dinner table.  Vulnerable prayers were spoken before our meal.  Gratitude was given in the passing of the serving dishes and spoons even when it wasn’t spoken.  Nothing from a box or in a package ever made contact with our table, for it was a sacred altar of the holistic.

When my mother died, I was thirteen and had been left to my own devices.  The kitchen was closed and the family scattered like seeds being replanted after the last frost.

I would go on weekend trips with my father, who was not a cook, nor a man who wanted to learn how to do things that women should do.  He knew how to drive; however, and when my sister and I experienced the gritty, exhaust filled city of Philadelphia, our meals were readily prepared by McDonalds, Burger King, and any hole in the wall pizza delivery septic tank and hoagie receptacle.  At the time this, I thought, was exotic food and I munched my way to a new way of feeling.  The food made me high, dizzy even.  I felt like I was away from the simple-minded world of innocence I knew, loved, and repressed craving and fared better in a world of grand adulthood.

I couldn’t have been further from the truth.

In my time of grief, I stayed away from the kitchen and sought solace in fast food, just like my father.  French fries became my talisman and I worshipped the all-mighty burger.  When I lived with my father, I would observe him taking a pharmacy’s worth of pills, and do himself the injustice of eating TastyKake’s, KFC, McDonalds (even on vacations out of the country) and turn his nose up at any homemade fare that wasn’t swimming in grease.  He would eat six hotdogs in one sitting and wouldn’t bat an eye lash.  When I left the house, I had been poisoned by our lifestyle, and lost the connection with natural food, and the love I sorely needed.  I am not sure if he is alive now.  The last time I saw him he suffered numerous heart attacks, seizures, pulmonary edema and strokes.

In my twenties I awakened to myself being 240 pounds, unhappy, sedentary, and abused by self and others.  I would lie down and feel my heart struggling with her song of sorrow as I ignored her appeal to become healthy.  Eventually, I listened, and began to follow the spark of life that Yoga defibrillated within me.  I moved to Tennessee and started a natural life again, going to the opposite extreme of raw foodism.  When I settled into became a vegan, I started urinating frequently, my legs cried out in the night with excruciating neuropathy, and my heart raced.  I was diabetic.

Diabetes has been the best teacher of accountability to me.  It is my friend and motivator.  Diabetes tells me that I am worth the best, healthiest, most natural, non-gmo, adequately portioned, sun-light loved food that I can find and grow.  I love feeding my body the luxury of a green smoothies and hearing it tell me “I am happy.” I love using the grocery store as a pharmacy.  I love movement and dance that helps my heart to know she is loved and that she and I are best friends.

Diabetes has taught me that eating feelings is another form of addiction.  The accountability of dealing with emotions is essential for a meaningful life.  In my case studies performed with energy healing and psychological/spiritual counseling, I learned that a whopping 49% of patients who have lost a parent turn to eating to fill the void and were overweight.  I was one of them, and I knew then that I wasn’t alone.

Our food is our sacred bond with the earth and those that we love.  I didn’t pay attention to the signs that fast food was poison to the body and a desecration to the soul of food.  I bought into the marketing propaganda of busyness, I didn’t care who made my food or where it came from… I had enough problems of my own.  So many of us think this way. We say “Why do I care about GMOs? Why should I care about the government’s messes? If you say anything political on Facebook I will delete you.”  The problem with this thinking is that we are consciously tarnishing the beautiful experience of life with an apathy that is murderous.  So many rural children are not getting to enjoy the fruits of their family’s labor.  Instead, they walk into their farmhouse to find their grandfather with a gunshot wound to the head because he has been taxed out of his lifelong dedication by a corporate entity that can’t smell the healing of the apple orchard, or taste the love in shoofly pie made by the Amish mother of six, and think mating corn with cockroaches is an important advancement in science and technology. 

Food is a powerful tool.  Food is healing. Food is a prolific leader.  Food teaches us accountability.

My journey with diabetes and seeing my mother, friends, and colleagues die of cancer makes me desirous of the world of my childhood.  I feel it is my responsibility to love and honor all of their memories (and the memory of my love for homemade cake, pie and biscuits) with the awareness, compassion, and understanding for the world I helped make and the world I wish to change.  The meals, the mindfulness, and the power that I have as one person, can, and will change the world.  I accept my responsibility with great fervor to feed all within my reach food made with love.

The empowering act of self-discipline is based solely in the love for your experience of life and the preservation of the relationship you have with the life you have come to understand and create.  Examining your life observantly, and making peace with what is beautiful, painful, and pleasing, is the first step toward creating an authentic relationship with your inner nurturer.  This also means that you must hold yourself accountable to your highest good and make sure that you set boundaries with yourself to enable you to say “no” when you need to.  Your health and well-being, priorities, responsibilities are all in your hands, the expectations are laid out by you, karma is the result.

Are you living in the shadow of someone else’s desires for your life?  This could be the reason why you are lacking self-discipline.  The key to unlocking consistency and success for your life is in attaining self-discipline, authenticity, and accountability.  If you are living someone else’s life, you will not find the passion that your human experience requires in order to be fulfilling. Instead, you will find yourself on autopilot, going through the motions, loving out of duty and living secretly in pain.  This is a disloyalty that can harm generations.  You must be disciplined in your loyalty to your deepest heart and highest good.

You may be in the beginning process of realizing that the mistakes you have made are the result of a lack of self-discipline, authenticity, and accountability.   Release self-judgment and anger by creating loving inner-dialogue.  Meet defeat with compassion. Remind yourself that you are not alone in your lesser moments of “weakness” and “failure.”  Let those moments be lessons to assist you to transcend the self-created mundane and build a deeper relationship with self-discipline.  You never have to punish yourself for mistakes.  If you utilize them as a springboard to a deeper sense of devotion through owning them, you will be prepared for the difficult offerings of life.

Creating a life built on the system of punishment and reward is not appropriate to living a healthy, balanced, spiritual, emotional or interpersonally related life.  It is essential that polarity and dichotomy are removed from the hierarchical system of relationship and become tools for learning, opportunities for refuge, and openings for intimacy.  The beauty of your life is dependent on letting go by letting yourself recognize the worth of your promises.

Spiritual accountability is rooted in the heart of life.  While admission  of our mistakes and taking ownership of them,  hurts we have caused to others, and problems we created for ourselves is an essential aspect, it is also a practice of maintaining the integrity of our internal universe.  It is an introspective ethereal act of willingness to do what we have said we will do even if no one is looking.  It is the sacred promise made to oneself before the grandeur of the universe.  It is a daunting task to try to live up to what the universe delivers, but we do it each and every time we are aware in the moment, lose ourselves in it, and courageously establish a bond of joy in any circumstance the cosmic tango provides.

Adversity is accountability’s right hand man.  No one is exempt from adversity’s reach.  We all have to endure the rough terrain of life’s peaks and valleys.  As we look to circumstances that can be perceived as suffering, we are given a beautiful opportunity to engage ourselves in the moment eye to eye, heart to heart, and walk through it with a head held high.  Our strength on the path breeds great virtues that can only be attained through our trials by (purifying) fire.  When we are faced with the thick of life, we must examine it freely.  Seek not to self medicate, but self-heal.  Lower the wall of self-judgment and allow vulnerability to pass through your lips and ask for help.  Growth and nourishment are born in these spaces of the heart as the seeds of understanding and willingness to learn planted in our minds.  As each and every lesser moment unnerves our patience, wears down our resolve, it is our personal faith that holds the Universe accountable to our hopes.  Life flows freely between hope and faith.

If you are lost on a raging sea of uncertainty it is up to you when that ends.  You can find the joy of life even in the worst moments.  Ask yourself: “What is this pain trying to teach me? What is the lesson I need to learn?”  You will not only get an answer, you will find the power you thought you lost.  Hold yourself to the fire, do not shirk away from what could be the greatest blessing of your life wrapped in the disguise of great pain.  The doorways that lead to joy are not always what they seem.

Come on, get up.  You owe it to yourself.  

Hold yourself accountable to your stance on life.

If you lived in a world where you believed that there were no mistakes for people being who they are, then you would not see the necessity of placing blame on anyone’s truth.  The processes of life would stand alone, no one group of people would be blamed for the world’s ills and moreover, the ills of the world would be met with solidarity and compassion.  Living in the space of fear and lack are actually secret aspects of blame shifting, avoidance, and the desire not to be culpable in any thing less than positive.  It is fear and lack that produce wars, injustice, and unwarranted monitoring.  But if we stopped using our differences as wages for the war within us and all around us, we would begin to understand and therefore master peace.

Coming to terms with your own personal and spiritual development is an act of character and integrity.  It is the greatest work you will ever do.  To look in a mirror or sit with your thoughts and say “this is how I look and this is how I feel because this is what I have created,” leaves the responsibility for happiness and well-being solely in your possession.  Being responsible for you life means that you do not leave it up to others to tell you how to look, eat, drink, sleep, feel, love, make love, worship, not worship and the like. It also means that you are accountable for each and every consequence of such decisions.

The frightening aspect of life that leaves so many people in a state of suspended animation waiting for people to make decisions for them and drift away from reality is accountability. The reason why so many people are indecisive and progressively more impressionable is because of the first question in their minds: “What if I fail?”  One cannot be afraid of failure if she desires to experience the fullness that life offers.  Commitment to holding to the truth of your being means that each event, thought, or action, success and failure is valid, has shaped you, and is worth celebrating.  Judgment and dog-eat-dog mentality tells you that you must have this car, this house, children, a spouse, this job and this electronic device, no matter the cost to you or your future, or else you are nothing.  Is that evident in all of the joyous people drowning in debt to keep up the façade?  This is why accountability to your truth is essential.

The more you know the less you need and desire.  You will not have the craving to fit in when you see the pitfalls of the path along the way.  Instead you will thrive in your uniqueness, and rely on your idiosyncrasies to help you discern what is concurrent with your truth.  It is in that space, when you are bolstered by the mountain of integrity that you can say: “That just does not resonate with me. But I appreciate its presence in the world.”

Appreciating that which does not resonate with your truth is taking accountability for the fact that you do not own the world and that you appreciate diversity.  Diversity is a great teacher that causes our fear and judgment to fall into a deep slumber and awaken as a new perspective.

It is time to take your life to task and create changes within.  All revolutions, all outside changes, all transcendence begins with an inner covenant.  Trust yourself to seal the pact with a promise that will always remain fulfilled.

Accountability is one of those heavy contingency based words built on the foundation of consequences.  Being responsible for the choices we make ensures living a deeply conscious life and is the pathway to infinite joy.  Taking the courage to say “yes, I am responsible” is an act of enormous empowerment.  The importance of consequential follow through is the root of who we are karmically, and it determines the destination of our path.  This week, we explore these ideas and the gifts that accountability leaves us on the path of self-discovery.

Monday – Personal Development  

Activate Your Life: Become Accountable for Your Truth: The act of owning your truth is the first step in becoming a defined individual.  In the process there are many lies that we tell ourselves, to come to terms with personal metamorphosis.  As one develops his truth, he must commit to holding himself accountable for it in order to be loyal to it.  In this article, we discus the importance of going beyond knowing and even owning your truth, to taking responsibility for it, in order to empower it.

Tuesday – Spiritual Nourishment

 The Universe Internal: Accountability as A Spiritual Teacher:  Many life challenges are teachers of accountability.  As we look upon our circumstances that can be perceived as suffering, we are, in actuality, given gifts.  If we hold ourselves accountable to the lessons we expand as spiritual beings.  Growth and nourishment are born from the awareness that we must water ourselves with hearts open and ears ready to hear.

Wednesday – Relationship Advice

Relationship Asylum:  Self-Discipline: An Authentic Relationship: The act of self-discipline is base solely in love for your experiences and the preservation of the life you have come to understand and create.  In this intimate creation process, the relationship with you and your inmost self may become amiss because of mistakes of the past.  By creating an authentic relationship with self-discipline, one does not punish herself for mistakes; rather, she utilizes them as a springboard to a deeper sense of devotion through owning her truth.  In this article, we learn the difference between accountability and punishment to create a foundation of peace and authenticity within.

Thursday – Personal Perspective

Soul Restoration with Dr. Anjana: I excitedly share my personal connection with accountability, my greatest lessons learned, and how the application has brought healing to my life.

There I was, the sheriff of Anjana town.  I had my foes lined up in a row: grandmother, father, ex husband, rapist, and anyone else that ever questioned or doubted me.  Their hands bound, mouths gagged, ready to receive the firing squad of my accomplishments.  I was somebody and I was going to prove it.  And then I woke up.

My dichotomy is not the usual polar fare that many face of inaction and action or Self-doubt and confidence.  Mine are fantasy and reality.

Whenever I would formulate a great idea or create a new method of doing things, I instantly would fantasize about the lights, camera, and action.  The glitz and glam would take me over and I would be its concubine.  I was asleep to any normal process of creating a personal legacy.  When I began my endeavors, they were a means to an end most of the time.  The end was being known and loved…by the whole world.  I was infected with the disease of desire for fame and when it didn’t happen for me as a musician, actress, or dancer, I took my greatest gift of all, my spirituality and essentially tried to pimp it out through pan handling for celebrity interviews, subscribing to anything Oprah, and starting to take my pick axe and my rope to scale mount Olympus.

I so badly wanted to belong in the world of the gods.  Hollywood stylists stayed at my house, wheeling and dealing fame and Hollywood gossip as the drug of choice, I worked TV shows, Huffpost Live, and was quoted in this publication and was that expert.  My vision board was teeming with the usual words “success” “Oprah” and everything else that people lacking their own identity would place on a sacred document. I kept asking myself “So you are getting what you wanted, why aren’t you happy with it?” I only wanted more, I wanted to be so large, so grand yet, I didn’t realize that I had a title deed to the Universe, and I was in the world of the gods.  I was best friends with them.

My demons were my attachments to my foes and my over achievements my bullets for their heads. I wanted to shatter their reality of who I was and who I have become.  I wanted to see them on their knees begging for mercy and I lusted for their emotional blood to be drained of its power over me.  It was then in a moment of simple quietness that I realized, this is not right.

Sometimes, the simplest moments lead to the greatest discoveries.  In this case my discovery came while in meditation, a total dichotomy from the world of my fantasy, and a world I avoided.  It had no lights, no clamor or glamour.  It was just a place in time where I came to meet my true self.  My true self asked me “Why are you doing this? You are going to strive to be Oprah or some other powerful person in media? Then what? What about your joy of being a little girl inside? What about being that free spirit? What about the love of your life?”  All these questions came along with a vision of whimsy.  The vision was being happy in the life I have already created.

WHAT!? Oh my fucking god.  Be happy with the life I already created!  The dawn rose and I awoke to see the sun shining upon my foes, burning away the visage of their firing line.  They were my anger disguised as purpose.  I let the sun rise on them and absorb every bit of them as I danced through the dried western movie set town of my broken heart.  I began to meditate daily to see what else could be revealed. I awakened to a sense of purpose in all that I do, a joy in who I am, the uniqueness that I bring, and how precious that is.  I understood that I truly am the person I was meant to be, where I am meant to be and I am happy that I am me.  The boulder bearing of others opinions suddenly became wings and I have been left of normal ever since.  I don’t want to be homogenized into a lesser version of myself.

I awakened to my life as I know it, and I have this blog to thank.  It has been a great teacher of patience, love, care, and confidence in my thoughts on the screen and developments in my heart.  It has taught me to be brave and take a stand in who I am, to grab life and not compromise any part of myself, enjoying it to the last drop.  That is enough exposure for me.

The best lesson that anyone could learn is to wake up to why you do what you do, and you desire the dreams that you desire.  On the surface it will be because of someone else. But if you mine for the gold of who you are, you will be richer than you expected because you will have learned true love.

I guess to a “normal” person this may sound kind of crazy. “What? So you are telling me that you are giving up being a famous visionary, and media star to be a blog writing hippie, spiritual exploring activist that dances in the rain, hoops, and plays like a little girl?”

Yep.  And she rubs the sleep from her eyes.

“I am looking for love…” she murmured to me with such palpable fervor.  She was on a world-wide search for the man of her (unrealistic ) dreams. She thought that being in a relationship would somehow satisfy her inherent need for a spiritual life.  Claiming, “I never got any of that stuff” in her long southern drawl, she felt that religion was an oppressive space, and wanted nothing to do with any kind of spiritually based relationship and succumbed to the world of vapidity and diet soda.   I posed the question: “How are you going to be able to cultivate a relationship with someone else when you really have not gotten yourself figured out?”  She sat back in a perplexed and forced contemplation.  My office grew silent germinating her seeds of growth.  She realized she has been sleep walking through her life, men had been her band-aid, and she was ready for a change.

Developing a relationship with yourself is the essential aspect of cultivating any relationship outside of you.  Moreover, developing a relationship with the aspect of your spirituality garners much more peace and success with the life that you lead, the reasons why you do the things you do, and want what you want.  The world around you can be as big or as small as you desire, but you have to be awakened to it in order for you to understand, accept, and change it.

The search for a particular possession be it a relationship, career, or dream home is only a small outward finite aspect of life that has no bearing on true satisfaction.  This is why developing a spiritual relationship that will rouse you from what you think is important to what you truly need is necessary for a happy life.

The deepest aspect of your infinite self needs surface and explore the finite world.  Each life lived and lost is a dance of divinity.  A fractal of wakefulness and slumberous moments of awareness, life itself is a series of relationships and exchanges that will only mean something if you are available to them.  There is a particularly numbing fear that occurs when people face life from the aspect of contingency.  “If I get a man or a ______ (fill in the blank), then I will be happy.”  This statement is often said and only results in a life half lived and wreaks a lifelong setup for disappointment and depression.

Living bravely in relationship with your spiritual self means that you choose the path of awareness beyond what someone else can give to you.  You make yourself available to any and all blessings and possibilities.  It means that life is a gift and you will not waste a day of it living through your own (or anyone else’s) unhealthy expectations.  Celebrating the spirit by looking more deeply at the world around you is the first step in discovering a meaningful life.  Being at the seed of growth and becoming intimate companions with it begins with the conscious choice of internal connection.

Start there, start a fire, burn beyond want and need. Burn for the whole world to see.