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When I lay in bed at night, I think of all I accomplished during the day, things I could have done or said differently…things I hope for tomorrow.

 

I like to explore ideas and figure out exactly where I stand on issues of the day. I consider my stance on body image. I mull over the level of poverty in my neighborhood, in my state, in my country, in the world. I focus on big solutions for little problems such as build tiny houses for the homeless. These whiz through my brain at a million miles an hour like a constant hum of distant activity that I can’t quite pin down. It sometimes gets worse when the lights go out.

As I watch others struggling with similar issues in their heart-minds, it occurs to me that being in the now, being mindful, is meaningful to me. The woulda-coulda-shouldas are distractions from what’s really happening. They are ways my mind tells me that I’m ditching out on things all day long (even though they’re there) so that I can survive. I build up a dam of “Yes, sir. No, sir” all day and in the still of the night my mind has a chance to breathe the emotions I’ve suppressed during the day. It’s the larger than life minutia that builds frustration, anxiety, misdeeds mishandled and things that cause the water to break through the dam.

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I remember as a student in writing class this directive was drilled into my head: Show don’t tell. Over and over I’d get papers handed back to me with red marks screaming it at me. I hated that teacher with the keen passion that only a young student can express. But those words held far more wisdom beyond writing in junior high school.

Those words have become a life lesson for me. They have taught me that I could tell you all day long about the me I want you to see. I could wave my fancy feathered fan in front of my naked body teasing you with glimpses of who I really am. I could rip off my spiritual bindings, groaning with effort and continued fear that I’ll not be perceived as blameless as I wish.

Show me who you are.

Don’t just tell me with clever slogans because those are the thoughts of someone else. Using a lack authenticity  to describe oneself  limits a person to the level of mediocrity, labels, and acceptance of someone else’s beliefs.

Who are you quoting?

I don’t want to be remembered with someone else’s words on my lips. My own actions are a reflection of my spirit. I do not intentionally set out to change the world, it just happens because my intent is  like a fire, fully engaged in whatever I’m doing. I require blazes of activity to spark up via conversations, actions, laughter, outrage towards injustice, or by committing random acts of kindness. I want to be remembered as someone who mattered to someone else as much as I matter to me.

I’d like for someone to make a graphic about me that reads, Man, if only you’d known her. She was a fireball like none other. Even though she gave up a lot, she wasn’t a quitter. She’d fight to the bitter end for whatever she believed in and without even realizing it, you’d be right there with her. She was trustworthy in action and word.

We’re all in this together.

Human to human, elbow to elbow, what shall we do? What beliefs do you wish to leave as your legacy? What can you give to the world that is unique to solely you?  Bring that gift to the table of manifestation as a dish to pass to along in your community. Fan out your peacock tail with glorious display because you’re necessary, valuable, and worth more than a few words with a pretty picture attempting to capture your essence. Go on, show all of us, don’t just tell us who you are. We’re waiting.

I am in the most hermetic phase of the summer now.

The temperatures in Phoenix are in the triple digits, tempers flare, cars overheat, dust storms roll through. My tendency at this time of year is to curl up in bed with a good book and an iced coffee, and wait out the heat. I teach my online summer course. I exercise,  cook, do course prep for fall. I clean out my closets. I write. In the dark, cool womb of my house, my animals gather in a semi-circle around me and we enjoy our sloth together, tucked in and safe from the chaos of the outside world.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I don’t care what’s going on. I do. In fact, I think I care too much. My heart is too kind. I often feel much too fragile to navigate the ugliness and difficulty that has become the common thread of contemporary life. I’ve realized that some battles are not worth the time or energy they take. The older I get the more I understand that I must channel my time and energy into things that I want to see happen.

Things that disturb me, upset me, or cause my blood pressure to rise, are things I actively avoid. You see, no matter how bad I feel about poverty, injustice, hunger, killing or war — focusing on them actually entrenches them —  rather than makes them better. My feeling bad about the horror and strife and hatred in the world will not make those things disappear. I can never feel bad enough to make the world feel good as a result.

Change the way you see the world, and the world you see will change.

Let’s face it: the outside world is ablaze with recrimination and hatred right now. As a result, I don’t watch anything on the news — not because I don’t think the war in Gaza is a horrible crime against humanity or that devastating gun violence, murder, and domestic abuse doesn’t exist.  I know what’s out there. I don’t watch because those issues don’t deserve even one fraction of a fraction of a fraction of my attention or time. They’re a symptom of what’s tearing this world up: inhumanity toward all living creatures. The perpetrators lack any semblance of empathy or care or feeling for others. And because I do not want to give energy to things I do not want to see more of, I am doing my level best to put my focus on things that are actually fostering change.

Fighting against things doesn’t change things.  

Working toward things changes things. Constructive dialogue, collaboration and cooperation change things. That’s not just semantics. The energetic signature of something you are opposed to is completely different than something you actively support. One mindset traps the energy in regret, remorse and resistance. The other frees the energy to move in the direction you want to go.

What you resist, persists.

So, if you wonder why I am here at my keyboard rather than out on the street corner holding an angry sign, don’t misconstrue my intentions or my commitment to change.

There is much I am outraged over and much I want to see change. I am for equality, kindness, joy, education, the social safety net, and health care for all citizens. I am for my taxes going to helping the least among us. I want to see women paid on par with men. I want to see racism disappear. I want marriage equality for everyone who loves another person and wants to get married. I want our laws to protect us all — not just a select few.

I want to close our prisons and open more schools. I want us to spend $40K on each student in school instead of spending that amount incarcerating people who’ve been thrown away. Did you know that more African American men are currently in jail than were held in slavery?

I want us to embrace common sense and get guns out of the hands of the criminally insane.

I want a sustainable future, a clean environment, a warm place to rest. I want to trust the food I am eating hasn’t been showered in enough pesticides to kill me. I want to walk into the future with collaborative, kindred spirits who are ready to build a better world.

There is no time left to waste on pettiness or mind games.

What you focus on, increases.  

What are you going to do to make a change? We cannot transform our lives using the same mindset that created the status quo.

We’re living in a whole new paradigm. Anything’s possible.

And what about those among us who are hellbent on taking the world backwards?

They won’t win their fight against progress, kindness, mercy and care. Resistance is, indeed, futile.

So, if you are like me, protect your light.

We’ll need it for the road ahead.

If you put yourself in a position where you have to stretch outside your comfort zone, then you are forced to expand your consciousness. ~ Les Brown

Stuck in the middle with you.

We’ve all done it. We’ve stayed too long in a job that made us want to poke our eyes out. We’ve latched on and stuck it out with a lover who treated us like crapola, even on a good day.

Why?

It seems counter-intuitive.

Why would we want to to make ourselves small? Why would we accept less than all that we deserve?

Playing Small.

Part of it has to do with our sense that we can’t do better, that we can’t stretch or reach for much more than what we see those around us reaching for. We don’t want to be rejected by those we love, so we stay small. We sit in the dark because we’re used to the dark.

And even if that darkness makes us miserable, it is a familiar misery. It is not unknown uncharted territory.

We tell ourselves: We don’t need to push beyond our comfort zone.

Instead, we stay put. We keep ourselves safe.

Or so we think.

But what’s really going on?

We’re settling. We’re surviving. We’re opting for the easy way out.

I don’t know about you, but I want more, much more.

“Some people live in cages with bars built from their own fears and doubts. Some people live in cages with bars built from other people’s fears and doubts; their parents, their friends, their brothers and sisters, their families. Some people live in cages with bars built from the choices others made for them, the circumstances other people imposed upon them. And some people break free.” ― C. JoyBell C.

I want to thrive.

I want a big life. I want to live full throttle, all out. I want an embracing-my-gifts sort of life; not a shrinking, invisible, don’t-mind-me-I-am-a-doormat, life.

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” ~ Maya Angelou

I want to show my light. I want to stand in the center of my life and radiate joy. I want to take up all the space I’m given, and then some.

“We all want to break our orbits, float like a satellite gone wild in space, run the risk of disintegration. We all want to take our lives in our own hands and hurl them out among the stars.” ― David Bottoms

These days, we’ve got a choice to make.

Do we grow or do we stagnate?

Do we maintain the status quo or discover who we could be if we pushed our limits and put the pedal to the metal?

Do we watch the lives of others on Entertainment Tonight or do we opt to watch Orion and Cassiopeia rise in the east from the deep loveliness of our backyard?  

Are we all about the known world or the vast, unlimited universe?

Which box will you check?  

Same-old, same-old?

Or adventurer/hero/scribe/scout?

I know which one I’ll choose.

 

 

We are holy, pussy-gushing, sexpot-wrathful deities. We have converging realities and lifetimes within the chambers of our hearts. We are unpredictability incarnate. We kill with a glance and heal with our hands. We are the muse of the universe’s architecture. We are warriors, nurturers, creators and destroyers holding up the world and giving birth to it at the same time. We dance between life and death, our breasts bouncing and thighs jiggling along the horizon of the unknown, making the earth quiver under our feet. We are the hive mind of great omnipotence.

Goddesses, this is your rightful linage, surrender to it.

I know you would probably rather me not say you must surrender to a reality but this type of surrender is transcendent. This is the stuff of devastating elevation.

Give it up. Frighten yourself with your shameless femininity. Hand over your disbelief. Kill misconceptions.

Open.

Tear down walls. Break down secret doors. Fall down bottomless wells. Fly through ceilings. Run as fast as you can toward the ease of letting the tears flow from the softness of your heart. This is your only chance to discover what is hidden behind the illusion of fear, the resentment of your vulnerability, and the attachment to everything you think you actually own.

Being a goddess does not mean that you are jaded – that you are steeled and toughened by the world and don’t need anyone. You need love. You need care. You need a partner and you need solitude. You require a good cry as much as a good orgasm. Allow yourself to need.

Enlighten.

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Enlightenment is not only the realization of knowledge but the allowance of it assimilating in you. It is not about the airy fairy new age half-truths or spiritual burdens of being the chosen one come to save the world, it is about becoming aware of how you operate without attaching judgment to what you think that says about you. You have a lot to learn about yourself in the spark of life that lasts for just a brief moment. Go within to find the answers to life’s mysteries. They are encoded in your DNA. They are whispered in the breath. They are your lucid dreams.

Enlightenment is about living guilt free because you know and love what you know. You have full access to Nirvana when you can love yourself beyond your meanness, your weakness, and even your brilliance. You stand in the middle of the spectrum of each and every emotion ever felt and you can access all or one in an instant. You are the magician of a future emotional culture; don’t cloud it with holding back from full expression. You are no one and everyone. There is no expression that is unworthy.

Shape-shift.

Freak out the normals, bend time, live aloud. The smallest fraction of a moment is new life. Learn of the inner workings of the creative realm in the small details.

Being a shape-shifter means that you are not just adaptable and accepting of change, you embody change itself. Preparing the heart and mind for change requires your true form to neutralize your finite fear-based self. Change your mind, body, lovers, or any situation that could serve your highest good more effectively whenever you need and wherever are. The more universal a goddess, the more empowered she becomes. She forgets how it felt to compensate for others. She knows how to say no. She celebrates reinvention; she realizes the muse is herself.

Shape-shifting requires you to morph on an atomic level. It is a volatile chain reaction of leaping from one reality to another on a dime, tying new strands of space-time together while unraveling those that lead you back to your former self.

Shape-shifting is essential if you wish not to sell your soul to your story.

The most important gift you could give yourself is permission to change. You are not the family history that was handed down to you, you are not your genetic composition, you are not your failings or even your greatest dreams. You are the Universe, ever unfolding on a continuum of reinvention. You created the world. You created your body in your image. It is yours to do with as you intend.

Adorn yourself with the unknown. Wrap spiritual androgyny around your finger and adorn it with your crown jewel. All hail the goddess.